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kareila_booksThis book spoke to me more than any other ADHD-related book I've read so far. In lieu of a review, I'm just going to paste out all the passages I highlighted, so that I'll have them to refer back to after my Kindle loan expires.
Some of us may struggle with time while others can live by the clock but often procrastinate or can't remember what we've just been told. What's more, some people have such slight symptoms that they're not consistently impaired by them, even though they may still feel deficient or atypical in some way.
Women with inattentive ADHD are often withdrawn, dreamy, and perfectionists — traits that don't prompt people to automatically think of ADHD.
... while both boys and girls can experience hyperactivity as kids, girls and women are more likely to internalize hyperactivity with racing thoughts and emotional dysregulation, which describes an inability to regulate or control our feelings.
... fluctuations in female hormones can worsen ADHD symptoms...
ADHD is often compared to an iceberg. Above the water, at the top of the iceberg, the world sees all our symptoms... But what they don't see, what's under the water, is far worse: the learned helplessness, the imposter syndrome, the perfectionism that develops after years or even decades of feeling like we're too much and all wrong... it's been shown that many ADHD women are hypercritical of themselves and have a difficult time accepting positive feedback.
[In middle age] I was diagnosed with ADHD, and the condition's symptoms were only now flaring because I was entering perimenopause. Unfortunately, very little research has been conducted to date on how female sex hormones affect ADHD... What we do know is that the hormonal fluctuations we experience as part of our monthly menstrual cycle, as well as over the course of our lifetime, do in fact influence ADHD symptoms and the medications commonly used to treat the condition.
ADHD women during times of lower estrogen may experience intensified symptoms like difficulty concentrating, poor memory, and impaired emotional regulation, in addition to all the other symptoms associated with low estrogen, including anxiety, moodiness, and flagging energy. ADHD women are also more vulnerable to hormone-related mood disorders like premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) — a severe version of PMS — as well as postpartum depression.
One survey of 1,500 women with ADHD found that 94 percent felt that their symptoms intensified during perimenopause and menopause... many women aren't diagnosed with the condition until they go through perimenopause or menopause. While we may experience some ADHD symptoms beforehand, we're able to manage just fine until our estrogen levels drop precipitously. I call this "midlife onset ADHD." I suspect many women, like me, have had ADHD symptoms since puberty but didn't seek professional help until later in life, as their symptoms became more pronounced or problematic.
I struggle to relax — you'll never see me doing nothing... What clinched my willingness to claim my ADHD diagnosis was when I discovered that hyperactivity can lead to extreme restlessness and feelings of always being on the go, as if driven by a motor... impulsive ADHD women are attracted to the challenge of overcoming frightening tasks or ambitious situations.
... many of us end up adopting an "outsider's identity," meaning we feel as though we don't fit into the mainstream.
... people with ADHD are oftentimes more intuitive than neurotypical people. Our brains tend to focus on the connections or relationships between things rather than on specific bits of information, which helps us to see a more comprehensive picture of what's going on around us. We also tend to lean on our intuition for decision-making because our executive function isn't all that great.
If you have ADHD, your path through life may feel all over the place, not only to others but also to yourself... While I've always been ambitious and driven, I spent years perpetually worried that I would never live up to my potential.
Emotional dysregulation is the inability to control, manage, or accept your emotions or emotional responses... Women [with ADHD] have "significantly greater rates" of emotional dysregulation than men with the condition, which can cause us to ruminate, feel overwhelmed, or be ashamed of our emotional outbursts or other behaviors... Those of us with ADHD are much more likely to be unable to self-regulate and control our emotional responses, even to what can seem like minor grievances or issues.
ADHD women often show their hyperactivity by being active in their minds, constantly ruminating or dwelling on negative thoughts... If you ruminate, your mind may resemble a hamster wheel, with the same thoughts going around and around in your head that don't help you get anywhere.
You may have rejection sensitive dysphoria, or RSD... many with RSD become perfectionists. A consequence of this perfectionism is that people may become reluctant to pursue their goals for fear of rejection or failure.
Feeling overstimulated, overcome, or even paralyzed by our thoughts, emotions, to-do list, or life in general is so common among ADHD women that I've nicknamed the phenomenon the Big O. The Big O is that feeling of extreme overwhelm that rolls in from out of nowhere, causes us to spin — sometimes literally — and can lead to a whole truckload of procrastination, which often manifests as the inability to start doing whatever we need to do. One reason we feel more easily overwhelmed is because our creative brains notice everything around us, all at the same time. We struggle to know what's important among the many thoughts, feelings, sensory information, and ideas that barrage our minds.
Our poor executive function skills may also make planning, organizing, remembering, and completing tasks difficult, leading to an endless to-do list... What's more, we focus on what we find interesting at the moment, not what's pressing or what needs to be done. We're inclined to be bored with mundane tasks, which can make it hard to get anything done, increasing our sense of overwhelm.
Sometimes, we do things other people want us to do rather than what we want to do. If we're not interested in a task, though, we won't follow through, which can make us appear unreliable.
If both partners have ADHD in a romantic relationship, the good news is that you'll likely have more empathy for one another and each other's differences and challenges. You'll also likely have different symptoms, as the condition manifests uniquely in everyone. One partner may struggle more with organization, for example, while the other may have a problem with time management.
Many ADHD moms are happier when they don't have to stay at home because having an outside job gives us structure and mental engagement...
Based on my observations, women with the inattentive subtype of ADHD who are generally quieter or less verbally impulsive have an easier time fitting in with friends. Those of us with the combined or hyperactive and impulsive subtype may struggle more socially...
Time blindness among those of us with ADHD is on a continuum, meaning that some of us really struggle while others may not have any time management issues at all.
Having ADHD means we're up to ten times more likely than the general population to have issues with our weight. Why? Because our brains are low in dopamine, so we instinctually seek out foods like sugar and carbs that can provide an instant hit of the feel-good chemical... Our ADHD brains are also low in GABA, a neurotransmitter that makes us feel calm and helps control our inhibition.
Some of us may use eating as a way of procrastinating what we don't want to do, while those of us who suffer from poor emotional regulation may rely on sugar, carbs, or other comfort foods to help self-soothe.
... we may also struggle to initiate and follow through with a healthy eating plan — or any kind of regular eating plan at all. You can blame our impaired executive function skills, which make it challenging to start or maintain a healthy diet, let alone plan, prep, or shop. If we tend to hyperfocus, we may also forget to eat for hours on end, causing us to get ravenous, which usually leads to poor food choices.
... many of the most common ADHD symptoms like impulsivity, poor time management, and procrastination can prevent us from getting into bed when we should. And for some of us, when we do go to bed, hyperactivity causes us to ruminate or spin through our thoughts. Furthermore, if the idea of going to bed sounds dull and monotonous to us, we might resist because we don't like being bored. Many of us also don't like being told what to do — and that includes getting into bed.
So yeah, a lot of food for thought here, especially traits going back to my childhood that I thought were just part of my personality, that I didn't realize could also be associated with ADHD. But the stuff about ADHD symptoms being made more severe by the onset of menopause was the big "aha" moment for me.
Chapter 1
Some of us may struggle with time while others can live by the clock but often procrastinate or can't remember what we've just been told. What's more, some people have such slight symptoms that they're not consistently impaired by them, even though they may still feel deficient or atypical in some way.
Chapter 2
Women with inattentive ADHD are often withdrawn, dreamy, and perfectionists — traits that don't prompt people to automatically think of ADHD.
... while both boys and girls can experience hyperactivity as kids, girls and women are more likely to internalize hyperactivity with racing thoughts and emotional dysregulation, which describes an inability to regulate or control our feelings.
Chapter 3
... fluctuations in female hormones can worsen ADHD symptoms...
ADHD is often compared to an iceberg. Above the water, at the top of the iceberg, the world sees all our symptoms... But what they don't see, what's under the water, is far worse: the learned helplessness, the imposter syndrome, the perfectionism that develops after years or even decades of feeling like we're too much and all wrong... it's been shown that many ADHD women are hypercritical of themselves and have a difficult time accepting positive feedback.
[In middle age] I was diagnosed with ADHD, and the condition's symptoms were only now flaring because I was entering perimenopause. Unfortunately, very little research has been conducted to date on how female sex hormones affect ADHD... What we do know is that the hormonal fluctuations we experience as part of our monthly menstrual cycle, as well as over the course of our lifetime, do in fact influence ADHD symptoms and the medications commonly used to treat the condition.
ADHD women during times of lower estrogen may experience intensified symptoms like difficulty concentrating, poor memory, and impaired emotional regulation, in addition to all the other symptoms associated with low estrogen, including anxiety, moodiness, and flagging energy. ADHD women are also more vulnerable to hormone-related mood disorders like premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) — a severe version of PMS — as well as postpartum depression.
One survey of 1,500 women with ADHD found that 94 percent felt that their symptoms intensified during perimenopause and menopause... many women aren't diagnosed with the condition until they go through perimenopause or menopause. While we may experience some ADHD symptoms beforehand, we're able to manage just fine until our estrogen levels drop precipitously. I call this "midlife onset ADHD." I suspect many women, like me, have had ADHD symptoms since puberty but didn't seek professional help until later in life, as their symptoms became more pronounced or problematic.
Chapter 4
I struggle to relax — you'll never see me doing nothing... What clinched my willingness to claim my ADHD diagnosis was when I discovered that hyperactivity can lead to extreme restlessness and feelings of always being on the go, as if driven by a motor... impulsive ADHD women are attracted to the challenge of overcoming frightening tasks or ambitious situations.
... many of us end up adopting an "outsider's identity," meaning we feel as though we don't fit into the mainstream.
... people with ADHD are oftentimes more intuitive than neurotypical people. Our brains tend to focus on the connections or relationships between things rather than on specific bits of information, which helps us to see a more comprehensive picture of what's going on around us. We also tend to lean on our intuition for decision-making because our executive function isn't all that great.
Chapter 5
If you have ADHD, your path through life may feel all over the place, not only to others but also to yourself... While I've always been ambitious and driven, I spent years perpetually worried that I would never live up to my potential.
Chapter 6
Emotional dysregulation is the inability to control, manage, or accept your emotions or emotional responses... Women [with ADHD] have "significantly greater rates" of emotional dysregulation than men with the condition, which can cause us to ruminate, feel overwhelmed, or be ashamed of our emotional outbursts or other behaviors... Those of us with ADHD are much more likely to be unable to self-regulate and control our emotional responses, even to what can seem like minor grievances or issues.
ADHD women often show their hyperactivity by being active in their minds, constantly ruminating or dwelling on negative thoughts... If you ruminate, your mind may resemble a hamster wheel, with the same thoughts going around and around in your head that don't help you get anywhere.
You may have rejection sensitive dysphoria, or RSD... many with RSD become perfectionists. A consequence of this perfectionism is that people may become reluctant to pursue their goals for fear of rejection or failure.
Chapter 7
Feeling overstimulated, overcome, or even paralyzed by our thoughts, emotions, to-do list, or life in general is so common among ADHD women that I've nicknamed the phenomenon the Big O. The Big O is that feeling of extreme overwhelm that rolls in from out of nowhere, causes us to spin — sometimes literally — and can lead to a whole truckload of procrastination, which often manifests as the inability to start doing whatever we need to do. One reason we feel more easily overwhelmed is because our creative brains notice everything around us, all at the same time. We struggle to know what's important among the many thoughts, feelings, sensory information, and ideas that barrage our minds.
Our poor executive function skills may also make planning, organizing, remembering, and completing tasks difficult, leading to an endless to-do list... What's more, we focus on what we find interesting at the moment, not what's pressing or what needs to be done. We're inclined to be bored with mundane tasks, which can make it hard to get anything done, increasing our sense of overwhelm.
Sometimes, we do things other people want us to do rather than what we want to do. If we're not interested in a task, though, we won't follow through, which can make us appear unreliable.
Chapter 8
If both partners have ADHD in a romantic relationship, the good news is that you'll likely have more empathy for one another and each other's differences and challenges. You'll also likely have different symptoms, as the condition manifests uniquely in everyone. One partner may struggle more with organization, for example, while the other may have a problem with time management.
Many ADHD moms are happier when they don't have to stay at home because having an outside job gives us structure and mental engagement...
Based on my observations, women with the inattentive subtype of ADHD who are generally quieter or less verbally impulsive have an easier time fitting in with friends. Those of us with the combined or hyperactive and impulsive subtype may struggle more socially...
Chapter 9
Time blindness among those of us with ADHD is on a continuum, meaning that some of us really struggle while others may not have any time management issues at all.
Chapter 12
Having ADHD means we're up to ten times more likely than the general population to have issues with our weight. Why? Because our brains are low in dopamine, so we instinctually seek out foods like sugar and carbs that can provide an instant hit of the feel-good chemical... Our ADHD brains are also low in GABA, a neurotransmitter that makes us feel calm and helps control our inhibition.
Some of us may use eating as a way of procrastinating what we don't want to do, while those of us who suffer from poor emotional regulation may rely on sugar, carbs, or other comfort foods to help self-soothe.
... we may also struggle to initiate and follow through with a healthy eating plan — or any kind of regular eating plan at all. You can blame our impaired executive function skills, which make it challenging to start or maintain a healthy diet, let alone plan, prep, or shop. If we tend to hyperfocus, we may also forget to eat for hours on end, causing us to get ravenous, which usually leads to poor food choices.
Chapter 13
... many of the most common ADHD symptoms like impulsivity, poor time management, and procrastination can prevent us from getting into bed when we should. And for some of us, when we do go to bed, hyperactivity causes us to ruminate or spin through our thoughts. Furthermore, if the idea of going to bed sounds dull and monotonous to us, we might resist because we don't like being bored. Many of us also don't like being told what to do — and that includes getting into bed.
So yeah, a lot of food for thought here, especially traits going back to my childhood that I thought were just part of my personality, that I didn't realize could also be associated with ADHD. But the stuff about ADHD symptoms being made more severe by the onset of menopause was the big "aha" moment for me.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-04 07:44 pm (UTC)I'm opening this in a tab to read later (lol I guess); thanks for this.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-04 08:12 pm (UTC)